Social Media- Have We Lost The Art Of Communication?
January 3, 2012
"See,that's the trouble. We now only really have fluffy relationships. so we're all communicating all the time on email, Twitter and text, but we are not really communicating. I've suddenly found that I don't really know people like I used to know them. Everyone's so busy, and the television's on, the computer's on and there's this constant noise, and you think you're in communication, but actually I don't think you are."
I was watching the Bear Grylls special where he took comedian Miranda Hart somewhere suitably remote to do various adventurous things. At one point they stop for the evening and build a fire, and chat. The conversation turned to communication and Miranda Hart made a very good point that got me thinking. She proposed that although we appear to have more ways of keeping in touch with social media such as Facebook or Twitter, that we may well have lost the art of real communication.
I have quite a lot of friends on Facebook (well, I consider it a lot but it's all relative) I hear about what they are having for breakfast, where they have been, what's annoyed them and what they are having for dinner (I'm even treated to the occasional photo of their cooking efforts). Take my News Feed this morning. I know that someone is struggling to put Playmobil together, who is looking after 'Bob's children today and who has 'Liked' the Next and Flora pages today. Much as I like finding out about the finer details of people's lives, it seems to have little depth, and feels impersonal. It's not me they are telling- it's there Facebook friends, of which I happen to one of. I've heard Facebook being referred to as 'Fakebook'. People (me included) tend not to publicise the less positive aspects of their lives. You get to hear about 'Johnny's Wonderful Parent's Evening' and how proud the parents are, but do you hear about the really terrible one, the one where the teacher referred to little Johnny actually being a right pain in the bum? I don't think so.
So you may be able to get a glimpse into other people's lives, but is it really communicating? Communicating with friends seems to have lost the personal touch. Take New Year's Eve. I received numerous text messages, Facebook messages and Tweets wishing me 'Happy New Year'. Many meant nothing because I knew it wasn't me they were wishing a Happy New Year to- I was just one on their contacts list (sorry if you sent one- honestly I did appreciate it...) So we can reach more people, but it's lost it's sentimentality. And I am a sentimental person. It should be about quality not quantity.
Do you remember the excitement of receiving a handwritten letter, a card, a phone call out-of-the-blue because the person was 'just thinking about you'. It's about discussing the things that are really important to you, and the not so important. Some of my best communication is done after a few glasses of wine. But then I'm with the person, we are sharing a joke, a memory, a problem. It is personal. My husband is in a fairly high pressured job. It's busy, stressful and there isn't much time for 'personal communication' rather just a passing of information. But he makes the effort. He sends individual, personal letters thanking members of his team for work well done. He calls that person that hasn't been feeling great. He makes time to make it personal.
Why don't we resolve to get more personal? To communicate better, in quantity, not quality. Even if it is through social media, but through the 'Direct Messages'. Why not send one to that friend that means a lot to you, but you've been too busy to speak with lately. Pick up the phone, write a letter, make time to meet. But let's get back to communicating, really communicating.
I was watching the Bear Grylls special where he took comedian Miranda Hart somewhere suitably remote to do various adventurous things. At one point they stop for the evening and build a fire, and chat. The conversation turned to communication and Miranda Hart made a very good point that got me thinking. She proposed that although we appear to have more ways of keeping in touch with social media such as Facebook or Twitter, that we may well have lost the art of real communication.
I have quite a lot of friends on Facebook (well, I consider it a lot but it's all relative) I hear about what they are having for breakfast, where they have been, what's annoyed them and what they are having for dinner (I'm even treated to the occasional photo of their cooking efforts). Take my News Feed this morning. I know that someone is struggling to put Playmobil together, who is looking after 'Bob's children today and who has 'Liked' the Next and Flora pages today. Much as I like finding out about the finer details of people's lives, it seems to have little depth, and feels impersonal. It's not me they are telling- it's there Facebook friends, of which I happen to one of. I've heard Facebook being referred to as 'Fakebook'. People (me included) tend not to publicise the less positive aspects of their lives. You get to hear about 'Johnny's Wonderful Parent's Evening' and how proud the parents are, but do you hear about the really terrible one, the one where the teacher referred to little Johnny actually being a right pain in the bum? I don't think so.
So you may be able to get a glimpse into other people's lives, but is it really communicating? Communicating with friends seems to have lost the personal touch. Take New Year's Eve. I received numerous text messages, Facebook messages and Tweets wishing me 'Happy New Year'. Many meant nothing because I knew it wasn't me they were wishing a Happy New Year to- I was just one on their contacts list (sorry if you sent one- honestly I did appreciate it...) So we can reach more people, but it's lost it's sentimentality. And I am a sentimental person. It should be about quality not quantity.
Do you remember the excitement of receiving a handwritten letter, a card, a phone call out-of-the-blue because the person was 'just thinking about you'. It's about discussing the things that are really important to you, and the not so important. Some of my best communication is done after a few glasses of wine. But then I'm with the person, we are sharing a joke, a memory, a problem. It is personal. My husband is in a fairly high pressured job. It's busy, stressful and there isn't much time for 'personal communication' rather just a passing of information. But he makes the effort. He sends individual, personal letters thanking members of his team for work well done. He calls that person that hasn't been feeling great. He makes time to make it personal.
Why don't we resolve to get more personal? To communicate better, in quantity, not quality. Even if it is through social media, but through the 'Direct Messages'. Why not send one to that friend that means a lot to you, but you've been too busy to speak with lately. Pick up the phone, write a letter, make time to meet. But let's get back to communicating, really communicating.
Posted by Karen Paine. Posted In : Social Media
I live in a slightly manic household with my husband, 3 children, a cat, a kitten and quite a few fish. I like seeing friends, pretty paper bags, decluttering, strong black coffee and lemon cake.