There has been a lot in the press recently about girls growing up too quickly and it got me thinking about whether my Pamper Parties promote girls growing up too quickly.
First of all I guess we need to define what we mean by growing up too quickly. Certainly if we are talking in terms of responsibility then this obviously is not the case. We have moved away from the Victorian tradition of girls working from a young age to help with the family income, moved away from the large family ethos of the older children looking after the younger ones, and now with the introduction of the unicef 'Rights of the Child', the idea that childrten should be 'seen and not heard' is a thing of the past. I wholeheartedly agree with the Rights in essence, but when my child backchats and quotes 'Every child must be free to say what they think' I get a tiny bit frustrated! A far cry from the responsibilities expected from a child not so very long ago, my children certainly seem to think it is against their 'rights' to have to tidy, clean or even at times, talk respectfully to their own Mum!
If we look at the Bailey Review- Letting Children be Children we are closer to defining the current concerns regarding children growing up too quickly.
This Review aims to assess how children in this country are being pressured to grow up too quickly, and sets out some of the things that businesses and their regulators, as well as Government, can do to minimise the commercialisation and sexualisation of childhood. The crux of the recent concern is the sexualisation of children. I wholeheartedly agree with the recommendations set forward in the report. With two daughters, I am all too aware of the Playboy Bunny tops tempting them- well they are 'cool' aren't they- cute bunnies with a bowtie, and the magazines promoting dieting (even if they have 'token' articles about self confidence and keeping healthy, they still use skinny models, giving mixed messages) You only have to watch an episode of Hannah Montana to see the promotion of dating and 'being cool'. I read recently about Tesco being forced to remove a pole dancing 'toy' from their toy section on their website, and Mother's buying their young daughter's boob job vouchers. Yes, it has gone too far.
So where do my Pamper Parties fit in to all this? I think make-up for girls is like guns for boys. We would rather they weren't interested at all, but they are, generally. So what's the best way forward? If you allow a little boy to pretend a stick is a gun for the few minutes it's on his mind, he has his fun and usually forgets pretty quickly (I'm not saying actual violence with the stick should be left unchecked...). If you make an issue and 'ban' them, you risk the old 'what you can't have you want more' chestnut. I think it's the same with make-up. If you allow little girls to 'play' with make-up now and then, it doesn't become a big issue. I'm not suggesting you should let your little girl go to the supermarket plastered in foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, and bright red lipstick, but access to a little bit of lip gloss and sparkly eye shadow at home, in my opinion does little harm. In fact, it could prevent rebellion later on! My eight year old has a few eye shadows and lip glosses. Periodically, usually when a friend is over, they may put a little on for fun. But she knows she can't outside with it, and to be fair, you'd usually have to look pretty hard to know it was there (but I won't be telling her that in a hurry!)
So do my Pamper Parties encourage little girls to grow up too quickly? I don't think so. I don't do makeovers. I'm against the American Pageant look. My Hair, Make up and Nail party involves a section of hair being crimped or curled and a pretty butterfly clip put in. For the make-up section, I put a little sparkly shadow and lip gloss on the Birthday girl and then they have a go at doing each other's! And nails, well, just my opinion, but I think there is little harm in letting them wear some polish for a couple of days at the weekend, for a special occasion. I have, at times, discouraged girls from getting acrylic or gel nails- that's going too far.
 At the other end of the age spectrum are the 11-14 year olds. They can have The Ultimate Beauty Lesson. We start by carrying out facials on each other and I teach the girls the importance of looking after their skin from a young age. Make-up is limited to eye shadow and lip gloss. If the girls are going to wear make up, I'd rather they wore it correctly! And for the nails section I teach the girls how to look after their hands, using hand cream and cuticle cream, then apply some polish. I have found it sad turning up at some parties and the girls are wearing huge amounts of make-up, not very well. If they can go away believing that less is more, then my work is done.
At the end of the day, I offer this service once a year for each girl. I'm not suggesting they have a beautician round every week. And I do not believe my parties leave the girls looking too grown up or glamorous. In an age when our girls are bombarded with images of media ideals, touched up photos and pouting models, yes, let's be cautious, but...let children, be children.